How do we know what we need to fix in order to be happy? Often we know that we are unhappy and we try to fix the outside things - maybe buy a new car, paint our bedroom, get a massage or manicure, start exercising, get a haircut, switch jobs, move to a new place. But eventually we will find that money doesn’t buy happiness. The material things and outside fixes are not helping us find our joy.
If you are like most people, you stuff down your bad feelings and try to ignore them. Maybe you throw back a drink after a rough day, eat a pint of ice cream or watch movies and play mindless video games to escape. That’s all fine and dandy until the bad feelings start seeping out of you and you are so negative that you don’t even want to be around yourself anymore.
Have you noticed that maybe you overreact to simple problems? Have you started to complain about everything and anything? Is nothing making you happy?
If the answer is yes, it’s time to do an internal check - find out what needs to be fixed. But how do we do that? How do we know where to start?
One simple method is to write down a recent event that upset you. Maybe it’s a car that cut you off in traffic. Maybe it’s a bad grade on a test. Maybe it’s a fight you had with your partner. Perhaps a blown deadline at work.
Whatever the problem, jot it down and write out exactly what happened and how it made you feel. You’ll probably start with the anger and discover that what made you angry was getting your feelings hurt. Dig deep and find out what pain you feel. Then make a list of times that you felt a similar feeling. Each item on the list is an opportunity for you to heal something within you. Some type of trauma - big or small - that left you feeling bad and left you with unfinished business.
- Karen Lentz, RMT